To enhance the safeguards on your credit information AMP does not currently accept orders on line, recommending instead that for maximum security you call and phone in your purchases.  And please contact us immediately if you have any customer service issues.   All of your information is kept in strictest confidence.  We and our suppliers have pledged not to sell, rent, or otherwise distribute any of your information.  If you prefer getting a call from our staff, please e-mail.

With all the $$$/hype/promotion around pharmaceuticals these days we felt a laid back, funny, informative  R-rated style alternative would give you a nice relief.  Find non-drug accessories here that are just one time purchases.  Heat up and intensify natural erotic sensations... in extraordinary ways --- taking no risks with side effects, diseases, etc. 

Relax and at your own speed consider what's here.  Call in an order on something to meet your own personal needs.  We get feedbackfrom customers around the world about their happiness with Advanced Massage Products, our 45-Day Trial program, etc.  Are you next?  We also offer a link to lower priced adult products.  Visit our affiliated On-Base Armory site --- stocked with aisle after aisle of conventional novelties, toys, and accessories if that's what's sought.

No X-rated imagery here.  For eye candy this next link takes you off-site to our affiliate, the world's largest on-line library with over 300 movie titles in the collection depicting Sybian.  Their huge archives support our own site's TestimOanials with visual images.   No obligation, free to pre-viewers doing reconnaissance.  Also, when we do 'Home Glans Security' drills at bachelorette parties all are stunned that such good times can be had using only level tops and everybody keeping clothes on!

We believe you'll feel more secure knowing no AMP staff have ever been asked to leave, thrown out, arrested, or sued in the conduct of our business.  Staff experience dates as far back as 1987, so although we may not have all the answers yet - thousands owe at least smiles to these products. 

To further expose those lasting twinkles in the eye (that dare not breathe their name) please explore and share this site with all those you care about and love by clicking on Missionary Assistance. Investor inquiries are acceptable.

While Advanced Massage Products LLC is a Nevada based corporation, all our staff have been detailed to our Washington, DC office for the duration of this "War on Frowns".

(202) SAFEST YES [723-3789]